mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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