absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
