Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
