Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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