glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize