You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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