Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
