White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
