I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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