I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
