Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What drink are we having for lunch?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
