And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
