I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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