she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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