I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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