If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize