He had one of those small greek statue penises
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
