I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
