am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
