do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
