i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Randomize
