she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
