how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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