Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
