And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
