Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
