Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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