I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
BRING THE BAGELS
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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