Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We need to get me chipped asap
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
