her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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