I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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