Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
