Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
