just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
