she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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