So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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