i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
