Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
