Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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