So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
