Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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