he puts the penis in happiness.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
