Plan B is the new Plan A
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize