just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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