he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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