Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
