Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
