I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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