tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
