Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
