From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
