My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
