Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
