I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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