im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
