if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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