just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
