I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
