win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
