i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just took my morning after pill in the library
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
