Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
