Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
