420 ftw
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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