i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
