I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
