I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
